If I had a few less kids and a lot more free time, I could see myself being a full-time film-festival groupie. I'd discard everything in my wardrobe that wasn't black, gray or chocolate and, like a freakish, feverish soul in search of my next fix of cinematic nectar, I'd follow the migration trail through the film festival circuit. I'd move from city to city, always staying in a Courtyard Marriott so at least I'd have some kind of safe familiarity to come home to at the end of a long day of extended periods of sitting on my ass in a darkened room interspersed with lively bouts of powerwalking three miles in 10 minutes, deftly maneuvering around elderly people with walkers and moms with double strollers, to make it to the next screening.

If I was living that festival circuit life, baby, I'd hit 'em all. The big ones, the small ones, the specialty fests for every subgroup you can think of. I'd winter at Sundance and summer at Telluride, and in between I'd hit everywhere from Newport to the Hamptons to Vancouver. And right about October 5-19, I'd be living it up in Chicago for the Chicago International Film Festival. And yeah, I suppose it's rather telling that I'm so dorky I get excited looking at festival schedules for fests I'm not even attending. Anyhow, here are some highlights of the CIFF lineup:

The world cinema category boasts a few films I'd like to catch, including The Aura, Chronicle of an Escape, Comedy of Power, Days of Glory, Flannel Pajamas, and King and the Clown (South Korea's nominee for Best Foreign Pic). Little Red Flowers, which I enjoyed at Sundance, is there as well, along with Ten Canoes and Thin. Oh, and Wristcutters: A Love Story, which I somehow managed to miss at both Sundance AND Seattle earlier this year. A section devoted to "Black Perspectives" showcases an interesting range of films, from No. 2 (which stars Ruby Dee) to Son of Man to The Trials of Darryl Hunt. No Madea on the menu, sorry. Maybe next year.

Madeinusa, another film I missed at both Sundance and Seattle, is playing at CIFF as well, and so are seven -- count 'em, seven! -- films playing in the "Destination Greece" section. Documentary fans will find plenty to stimulate the intellect, including Dixie Chicks: Shut Up and Sing, Iraq in Fragments, Rampage and Summercamp! The competition section boasts films such as Candy, Host & Guest, The Italian, Shortbus and Thicker than Water. Late night film fans will enjoy some spectacular midnight fare, including The Host, Princess, and Severance. Yes, all in all, I think I could fill up two weeks pretty darn well at CIFF. If you're in or near Chicago or if you are, like my fantasy alter ego, independently wealthy and can jet on over there, you'll want to plan your schedule in advance.

[ thanks to Peter at horrorsnotdead.com for the tip ]